4 Risk factors for truancy: (3) Siblings who are truant

My name is Fujiwara, a child psychologist who works with truancy and withdrawal issues. As an advisor to ToCo, Inc., I focus on the factors that cause continued truancy and help children to return to school again. Today, I would like to talk about the third risk among the “four risks you should know about to prevent truancy,” which is when a sibling is truant.

This subject is probably a particularly sensitive topic for parents who are struggling with truancy. Cases of cascading sibling truancy are not uncommon and are a common issue in many families. By delving deeper into this issue, I hope to bring some awareness and alleviate some of the anxiety.

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CONTENTS.

• The Phenomenon of “Sibling Linkage” of Truancy
• Parental Concerns Due to “Sibling Chain of Siblings
• Reasons for Cascading Sibling Truancy
  • 1. the influence of imitation and learning
  • 2. Influence of the Atmosphere in the Home
  • 3. Changes in Parental Responses
• The Importance of Looking at the Differences Between Siblings
• How to Deal with the Risk of Siblings’ Truancy
  • 1. Creating an Atmosphere at Home
  • 2. cooperation with the school
  • 3. care for the parents themselves
• The Power of the Family to Prevent the “Chain” of Truancy Risk
  • Related Articles

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The Phenomenon of “Sibling Linkage” of Truancy

The phenomenon of sibling cascading of truancy is widely known in school settings and psychological support settings. When one child is truant, the psychological effects of the atmosphere and environment within the family, and even the family as a whole, can spill over to other siblings.

For example, in some cases, living with an older brother or sister who is truant, the behavior of “not going to school” becomes familiar, and the younger brother or sister may also become truant by imitating the behavior. In such cases, the option of not attending school is unconsciously accepted as a “possibility” within the family, and as a result, a chain of events can easily occur between siblings.

Parental responses may also be affected. When an older child experiences truancy, parents may have the memory that the approaches they tried before did not work, and so when the next child starts truancy, they may feel that it is futile anyway, and their response in the initial stages may be weak. This is by no means negligence on the part of the parents; it is a natural psychological reaction based on past experience. However, this “weakened response” may result in a chain of truancy between siblings.

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Parental Concerns Due to “Sibling Chain of Siblings

When siblings are cascading truancy, many parents feel a sense of remorse. They feel that the way they raised their children as parents may have been wrong, or that the family environment may have been the cause of the problem, and these thoughts weigh heavily on their minds in their daily lives.

Furthermore, the stares and lack of understanding from those around them also push parents into a corner. School teachers and staff at counseling agencies may imply that there is a problem at home. or even heartbreaking words from relatives and neighbors. Under such circumstances, it is natural for parents to feel that “it is my fault” or “it is my fault that my child is like this.

On the other hand, in some cases, too much self-blame can, on the contrary, reduce the willingness to accept support. Parents may feel that they have already suffered enough, and they may even believe that they do not need to do anything further. This psychological dilemma can make the chain of truancy between siblings more serious.

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Reasons for Cascading Sibling Truancy

There are several possible reasons why sibling truancy cascades between siblings. Here we will explore the main reasons in more detail.

1. the influence of imitation and learning

Children tend to observe and unconsciously imitate the behaviors and attitudes of their family members in their daily lives. If they have an older brother or sister who is not attending school, the younger brother or sister will see the option of “not going to school” as a realistic one. This is not just mimetic behavior, but also leads to a shared value system in which it is acceptable to miss school.

The impact of this mimicry varies greatly, especially depending on how the truant child is treated in the home. If an older brother or sister who is truant is warmly accepted by the family, a younger brother or sister who sees this may feel that it is okay for them not to go to school as well. On the other hand, even if the older brother or sister is strongly reprimanded for not attending school, the behavior of “not going to school” itself stays in their minds and they may make the same choice when they feel stressed or anxious.

2. Influence of the Atmosphere in the Home

In a family with an out-of-school child, the focus naturally turns to that child. Parents devote so much time and energy to that child that other siblings may feel psychologically alienated. This alienation can lead to feelings of jealousy and helplessness toward the truant brother or sister, which may ultimately cause them to choose the behavior of not going to school themselves.

In addition, the overall family atmosphere tends to be unstable in families with truant children. The stress and anxiety of the parents is transmitted within the family, which in turn affects other siblings, increasing the risk of a chain reaction of truancy.

3. Changes in Parental Responses

Parents who have experienced their older child’s truancy may respond differently to the next child. Because of past experiences, they may become overly cautious or, conversely, give up too quickly. This “change in response” may contribute to a chain of truancy between siblings.

For example, if the older child’s prolonged absence from school leads to a strong belief that “forcing him or her to attend school would be counterproductive,” the sibling may give up support early on when the next child starts truancy. On the other hand, there are also cases in which people feel so strongly that “truancy must be prevented at all costs” due to past experience that they put too much pressure on the child, which can have the opposite effect.

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The Importance of Looking at the Differences Between Siblings

In cases of cascading sibling truancy, it is especially important to look at the differences between individual children. Even though they may have grown up in the same home, brothers and sisters have different personalities, values, and experiences. Therefore, carefully looking at each individual’s situation and psychological background is the first step in providing support.

For example, when parents talk with school teachers or supporters, they may mention the topic, “My older child was like this, too. In such cases, supporters can respond more individually by being aware of the “differences between siblings. In such a case, the support person can respond more individually by being aware of the differences between siblings. What about this child? This is a way to understand the situation of each sibling.

How to Deal with the Risk of Siblings’ Truancy

To prevent the risk of siblings’ truancy from cascading to their siblings, a conscious approach is required in the home environment and in the parents’ handling of their children.The following section details specific ways that families, schools, and parents themselves can work on this issue.

1. Creating an Atmosphere at Home

As mentioned earlier, the atmosphere at home has a significant impact on the chain of truancy.Therefore, it is important to create an atmosphere that creates a “sense of security” at home.

• Attend to each child individually.
  When one sibling is out of school, parents tend to focus their attention on that child. This is inevitable, but if the other siblings feel that they are not being watched, psychological instability may arise.It is important to consciously confront other siblings as well and convey the message that “you are important, too.
  • Positive Communication
    When family conversations focus solely on topics such as “should I go to school or not,” all siblings may feel pressured. You need to make a conscious effort to increase positive communication by incorporating topics that are relaxing for all family members.
  • Keep family rules flexible.
    Even if you need to make special accommodations for a child who is not attending school, extreme changes in the overall family rules can be confusing to other siblings. Ideally, for example, rules that are shared by the entire family, such as chores, homework assignments, and meal times, should be kept as fair as possible.
• Be aware of the “division of roles” within the family.
  When there is a child who is not attending school, it is inevitable that time and energy will be focused on dealing with that child. However, there is a risk that other siblings may become psychologically isolated as a result. Therefore, it is important to be aware of the “division of roles” within the family.
  For example, the following responses are effective
  • Assign roles to siblings.
    If you have an older brother or sister who is not attending school, giving your younger brother or sister small household chores or family roles can help them feel that they are needed in the family. This provides psychological support to prevent a cycle of truancy.
    • Create an environment where everyone is valued equally.
      It is important to create an environment in the home where all children feel they are treated equally. Even if you need to make special accommodations for a child who is not attending school, be conscious of conveying the message to other siblings that you are important, too.
• Understand and respect the differences between siblings.
  When siblings are truant, it is easy for parents to focus only on the similarities. However, even if they engage in the same behavior of truancy, the reasons and psychological motivations behind it are usually different. Specifically, the following points should be noted
  • Explore the causes of anxiety and stress for each child.
    The reasons for an older brother’s absence from school and the reasons for a younger brother’s absence from school are not necessarily the same. By carefully delving into the anxiety and stress that each child is experiencing, more appropriate support can be provided.
    • Respect the pace of each individual.
      Even siblings have different personalities and paces. An approach that works for one child may have the opposite effect on another. Therefore, it is important to be flexible and not stereotypical.
• Cherish “success stories” of siblings.
  To prevent the risk of a cascade of truancy among siblings, it is important that children have success stories of “I can do it. In addition to focusing on the truant child, consciously create opportunities to provide success experiences for other siblings.
  • Provide support to develop areas of strength.
    For example, supporting a child’s interests in sports, the arts, or learning can help foster confidence.
  • Praise small successes.
    It is important to find successes, no matter how small, that give your child a sense of accomplishment and praise them.

2. cooperation with the school

In cases of a chain of sibling truancy, cooperation with the school is also important. The school’s understanding of the family’s situation and providing appropriate support can prevent the chain of events.

• Individualized support for each sibling
  It is important for schools to provide support tailored to each child, rather than lumping all siblings together. For example, it is necessary to carefully understand each child’s personality and needs without stereotyping, such as “this is how it was with my older child, so I will respond in the same way.
• Regular contact between homeroom teachers and parents
  Regular contact between the homeroom teacher and the parents will help the school understand the situation at home. This will also enable the school to provide more appropriate support.
• School-wide understanding and cooperation
  Truancy is an issue that should be addressed by the entire school, not just individual homeroom teachers. It is important to regularly hold training and study sessions to deepen understanding of non-attendance, and to establish a system in which the entire teaching staff can support children.

3. care for the parents themselves

In facing the risk of a chain of truancy between siblings, the parents themselves may become exhausted both mentally and physically. The mother’s own care is also an essential element for the stability of the entire family.

• Do not keep it to yourself
  The problem of truancy is a challenge that is difficult to solve alone. It is important to create an environment in which you can feel free to consult with a trusted supporter or consultation service.
• There is no need to be the “perfect parent.
  If parents feel that they have to “solve everything,” the atmosphere in the home may become rigid. It is also necessary to relax a little, taking the stance that “I am doing what I can do in my own way.
• Allow time for refreshment.
  It is also important for mothers to have time for themselves. Incorporating a hobby or relaxing activity, even if it is only for a short time, can help keep you feeling positive about coping at home.

The Power of the Family to Prevent the “Chain” of Truancy Risk

The key to preventing the “chain” of truancy between siblings is mutual support and flexibility within the family. Creating an environment where siblings are respected for their individuality and feel a sense of self-worth can greatly reduce the risk of truancy.

It is also important that parents not beat themselves up too much. Children’s futures can be changed by the small accumulation of today’s events. By taking the time to face the situation without rushing, we can break the chain of events and support our children in moving forward on their own paths.

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About us

We at ToCo provide a service that helps students to re-enter school in an average of 15 days. Based on our representative’s own experience, we launched this service in order to solve the difficulties that families struggling with truancy face in dealing with the problem and the tendency for school attendance to become intermittent.
Some of you may also be puzzled by the recent truancy services that charge hundreds of thousands of yen. Our service continues to offer the lowest price in the industry, while demonstrating through our track record that cost and effectiveness are not proportional. Please take a look at our service details.