My name is Fujiwara, a child psychologist working on truancy and withdrawal issues. I have worked with many truant and withdrawn children and their families. I am also an advisor involved in ToCo, Inc., a service that provides a pathway for re-entry to school by approaching the factors that cause prolonged non-attendance.
In this paper, we delve into the topic, “Is Truancy Cheating?” I would like to offer a new perspective and awareness to those who are struggling with non-attendance and those who feel that non-attendance is spoiled or unfair.
CONTENTS.
- Chapter 1: Why Parents of Children Attending School Think Families Not Attending School Are “Cheating”
- Chapter 2: The Impact of a Society That Thinks Truancy is “Cheating” on Families Who Do Not Attend School
- Chapter 3: Is it “easy” to be out of school?
- Chapter 4: Truancy is a condition that can happen to anyone
- Chapter 5: A Society That Does Not Leave Truancy Unattended
Chapter 1: Why Parents of Children Attending School Think Families Not Attending School Are “Cheating”
Have you ever heard people say, “It’s not fair to not go to school,” or “Not going to school is spoiled?” You may also have seen posts thrown around on social networking sites.
Parents of truant children may also have sensed such nuances somehow in the stares and attitudes of their school-going children’s parents, even if they have never been told so directly. What is behind this feeling of “cheating”? We will try to unravel it.
First, there is the underlying stereotype that it is natural for children to attend school. In Japan, going to school is obligatory, and the culture strongly encourages it throughout society. Therefore, the act of “going to school” is regarded as a virtue, and the efforts and perseverance of not only the children themselves but also their parents tend to be praised. In contrast, when children who are not attending school and their parents “do not go to school,” they tend to be regarded as “not making an effort. This assumption directly leads to the feeling of “cheating.
In particular, parents of school-going children manage to send their children to school while dealing with various stresses and conflicts in their daily lives. They may wake their children up in the busy morning hours and sometimes send them off to school while soothing and scolding their crying and resisting children. Because they make such an effort, they subconsciously feel that it is “unfair” when families with children who are not attending school do not seem to be making such efforts.
The peer pressure inherent in our society also contributes to these feelings. There is a deep-rooted atmosphere at school and at home that says, “Everyone is doing their best, so you should do your best, too. Within this pressure, some people feel a sense of injustice when a child who is not attending school and his or her family are seen as a “special exception. The feeling of “cheating” is the flip side of this peer pressure.
However, it is important to note that this feeling of “cheating” is often based on misunderstanding or prejudice. The condition of being out of school is never “easy,” and the parents in the home are also making a great deal of effort in other ways.
Chapter 2: The Impact of a Society That Thinks Truancy is “Cheating” on Families Who Do Not Attend School
Consider how feelings of “cheating” and prejudice can affect unschooling families. The gaze of society as a whole places a variety of pressures on truant children and their families.
First, truant families are subject to unspoken pressure from those around them not to show signs of enjoyment. For example, they are sometimes made to feel as if it is a “sin” to go on family trips or enjoy leisure activities outside while they are out of school. Parents and children alike are looked upon as if they are taking it easy because they are not in school, or that they should not be playing. This often forces the entire family to live a life of guilt, rather than enjoy it.
As a result of this pressure, families who are not attending school gradually become isolated and tend to stay inside the home. Parents themselves may become so concerned about the eyes of those around them that they avoid socializing with other parents and lose their connection to society. In many cases, this also affects the children, reducing their opportunities to go out and interact with others and leading to long-term withdrawal.
Furthermore, it is not only the negative stares from society that the child feels under these circumstances. They may feel that they are a “bad person” or that their presence is a nuisance, and they lose their motivation to return to school. For children who have been absent from school for a long time because of the pressure and isolation they have felt in school, these pressures from society as a whole can be even more devastating. A child who might have only missed a few days of school can be stuck in a room for years because of society’s condemnation.
Thus, the societal gaze of “cheating” is a factor that can mentally push a truant child and his/her family into a corner, resulting in prolonged absence from school. What is needed here is not an evaluation based on prejudice or misunderstanding, but a perspective that understands and supports the background of truancy and the current situation of the family.
Chapter 3: Is it “easy” to be out of school?
Many people have an image of truant children and their families as “having it easy”. However, is the reality of truancy really “easy”? In this chapter, we will delve into the realities faced by families who do not attend school.
At first glance, truancy may seem like “freedom from school”. However, there is a great deal of conflict and pressure hidden behind the scenes. One of the biggest problems that truant children face is guilt. The feeling of blaming oneself for not being able to go to school, the fear of being a nuisance to friends and teachers, and the feeling of feeling sorry for one’s family can eat away at the child, weighing heavily on the child. In some cases, the child may even feel that it would be better if he or she did not exist. For children in this situation, not attending school is not “easy” at all.
In addition, the parents of families with children who are not attending school are also under a great deal of strain. Many parents suffer from the anxiety of “Why only my child?” and self-criticism, wondering if they have done something wrong in raising their child. In addition, the mental stress of continually fighting against the pressure from those around them to “send them to school” is immeasurable. When it is difficult to obtain support from the school or government, parents often become exhausted, as they have to take on the entire burden.
Another reason why children who are not attending school are often thought to be “taking it easy” is because of their superficial appearance. Some people may see them playing games or using smartphones at home and think that they are just doing what they like to do. However, behind these behaviors, there is often a psychology of escaping reality and self-preservation at work. For example, in some cases, by playing games at a time when they feel pressured to go to school, they are trying to temporarily forget their anxiety. They may also be trying to avoid getting hurt by cutting off their connection to the outside world.
Furthermore, misconceptions and prejudices from society amplify the suffering of families who are not attending school. Being seen as “lazy” makes it easier for both parents and children to isolate themselves. As a result, support is not available and the problem becomes more complicated. Under these circumstances, children who are not attending school rarely feel “at ease. Rather, they are fighting deep conflicts in their hearts.
The key here is to properly understand the reality of non-attendance and to acknowledge the suffering and effort behind it. Even if a child feels “at ease” at times, this is only temporary, and there are many underlying problems hidden underneath. Trying to understand the state of non-attendance is the first step toward helping children.
And whatever the circumstances of a truant child or family, it is not a reason to throw stones at those around them.
Chapter 4: Truancy is a condition that can happen to anyone
Truancy is not something special that only some children experience. It is a situation that can occur in any family, and it is very important to recognize this.
For example, many families may think that their children are not involved in truancy because “my child has a cheerful personality” or “we have a good family relationship. In reality, however, in many cases, many children who are truant from school used to adjust to school life without problems. Bullying at school, problems with friends, friction with teachers, or even minor changes at home can all trigger truancy. These problems can occur in any family.
Recent changes in the educational environment and social changes have also contributed to the increase in truancy. Excessive academic competition, increasingly complex human relationships through social networking services, and even changes in the living environment due to the Corona disaster have made the situation surrounding children increasingly difficult. Under these circumstances, truancy is no longer something that happens to “special children,” but rather a condition that can happen to anyone.
Furthermore, the risk of truancy varies depending on children’s personalities and characteristics. For example, children who tend to be perfectionists are more likely to feel that they are “useless” for even the slightest mistake, increasing their risk of truancy. Children who are highly sensitive to the words and attitudes of others may be deeply hurt by even minor incidents, which may lead to truancy.
Thus, truancy is not a unique problem. And recognizing this can be a great relief to parents with truant children. Knowing that “your child is not the only one who is special” may alleviate some of the feelings of loneliness and guilt. In addition, as this awareness spreads, social prejudice against truancy may gradually dissipate.
Truancy is a condition that can happen to anyone, and there are a variety of factors involved. It is important for parents to be prepared to reduce prejudice against truancy as a problem that can occur in any family, and to abandon the assumption that it is “just for my child.
Chapter 5: A Society That Does Not Leave Truancy Unattended
So far, we have discussed society’s prejudices surrounding truancy and its reality. So, how should society as a whole deal with the problem of non-attendance?
First of all, it is important not to treat truant children and their families as a “tumor. Truancy is an issue that should be supported by society as a whole, and is not a problem that should be solved only by specific families or individuals. Nevertheless, families who are not attending school are often seen as somewhat special. This treatment isolates parents and children and contributes to prolonged truancy.
It is also dangerous to think of truancy as something that “time will fix. Certainly, the situation may improve with the passage of time, but if nothing is done, there is an increased risk that the child will become withdrawn or that the mental problems will become more serious. Therefore, it is important for parents to not only “watch over” but also continue to be involved with their children, even if only gradually. Using specialized agencies and support services is another option.
It is also important to spread awareness throughout society that “going back to school” is not the only goal. There are many other places besides school where children can grow, learn, and regain confidence. Starting over from school should proceed at a pace that suits each individual.
Finally, I would like to tell parents that you do not have to go it alone. The problem of truancy is not something that can be solved at home alone. It is important to move forward one step at a time, utilizing a variety of resources, including schools, specialists, and support services.
In order to realize a society where truancy is not left unattended, each of us must put aside our prejudices and extend a helping hand of understanding and support. We will continue our activities so that society can be transformed into one in which children who are not attending school and their families are not isolated and have hope for the future.
About us
We at ToCo provide a service that helps students to re-enter school in an average of 15 days. Based on our representative’s own experience, we launched this service in order to solve the difficulties that families struggling with truancy face in dealing with the problem and the tendency for school attendance to become intermittent.
Some of you may also be puzzled by the recent truancy services that charge hundreds of thousands of yen. Our service continues to offer the lowest price in the industry, while demonstrating through our track record that cost and effectiveness are not proportional. Please take a look at our service details.